Check Your Earrings Fellows!
A young woman goes to her doctor's office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs . . a green spot on the inside of each.
"They won't wash off, they won't scrape off and they seem to be getting worse.”
The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until the tests come back.
A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.
The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy. There's no problem. But, I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?”
The woman stammers, "Why, yes, he is.”
"Tell him his earrings are not real gold."
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks
Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would say, "Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Norma always replied, " I know Ed, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
The next year, Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said,"Norma, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." To this, Norma replied, "Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars."
Ed and Norma agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Ed replied, "Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Norma fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"