When I first tried out my Utopia backrest after it was installed, my back would barely touch it if I was on the handlebars, too far away to really lean back into it. But I kept messing with the adjustment bolt on the back of the backrest frame (near the bottom). I was finally able to get it just right for me.
As a woman, I have short arms so I can relate to this issue. I think it would have been great if Honda offered an aftermarket handle bar option that are longer with all the cables longer so that one wouldn't need to go after the expensive Helibars.
I do get that ache and fatigue in the neck and shoulders after a while.
I came from a bike that had 16" apes that I could lay back on, so this is a LOT different for me... Got my Rocky Risers on and they helped some and kept messing with my backrest and think I finally got it worked out. Just had to lean it as far forward as it'll go and move my butt further forward in the seat than I wanted... I agree, I would like to have some different bar options and just be able to extend the cables and lines like I did on my other bike, but part of it is just a different riding position that I'm slowly getting used to