Joke of the Day --Perpetual

[pickensace]

A guy from SC moved to Texas and bought a 120 acre farm.

A few Days later he is in the local Walmart and boastfully tells the cashier he has just moved from SC and bought a 120 acre farm.

About that time a big Texan in a cowboy hat taps the guy on the shoulder and boastfully says "Boy, you're Texas now and and we don't call them farms we call them Ranches and I can get in my truck at sunup and still be driving on my property at sundown."

The guy behind him taps him on the shoulder and says "I have a truck just like that."

Takes a minute for some to get it.

[Steve 0080]

A midget from Texas was experiencing constant pain in his crotch area, so he went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
“Hmm…” mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.
“Aha!” said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side… then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, “How does that feel now?” The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didnt feel a thing. What did you do?”
The doctor replied “I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.”

[ths61]

[BIGLRY]

Hehe, As my dear old dad told me when I first started working.
"As long as everyone keeps working I'll keep getting my SS check each month, so everyone of you working 9 to 5 guys keep up the good job you are doing, it supports me in my old age."

[ths61]

Hehe, As my dear old dad told me when I first started working.
"As long as everyone keeps working I'll keep getting my SS check each month, so everyone of you working 9 to 5 guys keep up the good job you are doing, it supports me in my old age."

Unfortunately, Bernie Madoff is the only one serving jail time for perpetuating the ponzi scheme, but then again, he screwed the uber rich, not the average Joe.

[BIGLRY]

Unfortunately, Bernie Madoff is the only one serving jail time for perpetuating the ponzi scheme, but then again, he screwed the uber rich, not the average Joe.

Yeap....very true.

[Milkmaster]

A young woman goes to her doctor's office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs . . a green spot on the inside of each.

"They won't wash off, they won't scrape off and they seem to be getting worse.”

The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until the tests come back.

A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.

The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy. There's no problem. But, I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?”

The woman stammers, "Why, yes, he is.”

"Tell him his earrings are not real gold."