Joke of the Day --Perpetual

[BIGLRY]

[DMAGOLDRDR]

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed
the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table cloth
but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and totally out
of sight under the tablecloth.. Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend
other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man:
"Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

The man calmly looked up at her and said: "No, she didn't .......... she just walked in."

[Radical Taz]

Guy walks into a neighbor bar to have a drink and sees a horse at the end of the bar.
He asks the bartender about the horse to which he replies “ If you can make the horse laugh you win a $100.00.
Guy walks over to the horse and whispers in his ear and the horse begins hysterically laughing. Bartender asks what he said to which he replies “that’s my business� takes the $100 and leaves.
Few weeks go by and the guy returns to the same bar and the same horse is still there. He says to the bartender if I make him laugh again do I win another $100. Oh no not this time, now you need to make him cry.
The man agrees and walks the horse into the bathroom, a few minutes later the man emerges with the horse crying uncontrollably.
The guy says “ok pay up�, bartender says not until you tell me how you made him laugh.
The man says “Well I told him I was hung better than him� bartender says well that is funny but how did you make him cry........................





I showed him!!

[willtill]

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to
his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the
colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night
before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how
much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure,
depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was
in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to
be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would
have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God bless the enlisted man.

[DMAGOLDRDR]

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town.

Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day.

Jose brings home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

One day, Carlos asked Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?”

“Look at your sign, what does it say?” replies Jose.

Carlos’ sign reads, “I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.”

Jose says, “no wonder you only get $2-3.”

Carlos says, “So what does your sign say then?”

Jose shows Carlos his sign – it reads: “I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico”