BIGLRY
11-14-2018, 12:51 PM
So here I stand in the emergency room listening to the nurses laugh.....I took the bike out for a 26 degree ride. Now I dress as warm as I can and all my bits stay warm except.....well....., my gollywobbles. Someone I know mentioned putting hand warmers down your pants to keep your nether regions warm....So....I thought I would try it.
My ride started out pretty good. All the goodies were nice and warm......After a few minutes, Clyde and the, uhh, twins were getting pretty warm....No problem though, kept riding.....After a few more miles....the heat was getting to be a bit much.....I kept riding though, because I am such a manly fellow. After a few more miles....Now the boys are downright HOT. ....I look down and Holy shit there is smoke coming out of my crotch area, and it feels like I am on fire. I pull over into the median and jump off of the bike. It falls over because I forgot to put the kickstand down....I fell down because there was ice on the ground and I'm hopping up and down like a jumping jack trying to get to my gollywobbles. And of course.....the zipper is stuck. Now I'm wearing a snowmobile suit, over coverall, over jeans, over long johns, over long johns. My nuts are roasting off and all I could think to do was piss my pants and dive pecker first into the snow.
Along came a state trooper who started yelling at me. Hell, who knows what the hell he was saying, I was screaming in agony trying to get that damn zipper down, Suddenly, the trooper maces me and oh Damn can this friggin day get any worse..........Turns out he already tried to taze me but I was wearing too many clothes.....When shit finally calmed down a bit he called an ambulance for me. Now I'm standing in an exam room at the hospital. I can't sit because I have 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my ass and my ...... The doc says 2-3 skin grafts and I can ride again by summer.
;roughrider;
My ride started out pretty good. All the goodies were nice and warm......After a few minutes, Clyde and the, uhh, twins were getting pretty warm....No problem though, kept riding.....After a few more miles....the heat was getting to be a bit much.....I kept riding though, because I am such a manly fellow. After a few more miles....Now the boys are downright HOT. ....I look down and Holy shit there is smoke coming out of my crotch area, and it feels like I am on fire. I pull over into the median and jump off of the bike. It falls over because I forgot to put the kickstand down....I fell down because there was ice on the ground and I'm hopping up and down like a jumping jack trying to get to my gollywobbles. And of course.....the zipper is stuck. Now I'm wearing a snowmobile suit, over coverall, over jeans, over long johns, over long johns. My nuts are roasting off and all I could think to do was piss my pants and dive pecker first into the snow.
Along came a state trooper who started yelling at me. Hell, who knows what the hell he was saying, I was screaming in agony trying to get that damn zipper down, Suddenly, the trooper maces me and oh Damn can this friggin day get any worse..........Turns out he already tried to taze me but I was wearing too many clothes.....When shit finally calmed down a bit he called an ambulance for me. Now I'm standing in an exam room at the hospital. I can't sit because I have 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my ass and my ...... The doc says 2-3 skin grafts and I can ride again by summer.
;roughrider;