Taking away the Keys???

[Phantom]

A difficult decision.....

You have a elderly family member that drives or rides .... but they shouldn't be.
Their ability to drive in a safe manner is declining.
Multiple accidents in recent months, vision not as good as it once was, reflexes not as good as they once were.

If you take the keys away.... they lose their freedom .

So how do you convince them to understand that they could seriously hurt or kill someone on the next accident? How do you convince them that their driving days are over?

[olegoat345]

A tough, personal call. There's no right or wrong answer.
If endangering their life & others, maybe it's time for a long, quite, personal talk.
They took my ex's keys 2-3 years ago, she was 75 last week.
(before you judge, we divorced in 1988)
I'll be 77 next month, my G/F is 73 & we're still riding on 2 wheels.

[opas ride]

A difficult decision.....

You have a elderly family member that drives or rides .... but they shouldn't be.
Their ability to drive in a safe manner is declining.
Multiple accidents in recent months, vision not as good as it once was, reflexes not as good as they once were.

If you take the keys away.... they lose their freedom .

So how do you convince them to understand that they could seriously hurt or kill someone on the next accident? How do you convince them that their driving days are over?

I was not able to stop my father at 88 to stop driving as he enjoyed his freedom also...His long time friend and Doctor put it to him straight and it worked..He was not happy and unfortunately passed away a year later....My Mom had dementia at the time which did not help as she could not let him know how dangerous it was for him to drive...One never knows I suppose for sure, as his younger brother who is now 92 still drives with apparently no issues except for old age...Good luck

[VaBob]

I can see how people dont want to give up the keys, but they are not home bound by any means. I say that, but I dont know where you live. In my area there are plenty of driving services available. Uber, lift, on call taxis, ect. Also there are programs for people of an advanced age to be able to get rides for shopping and dr visits and what not. I hope that when its my time to hand over the keys, I have a clear mind about it and understand the risks. But hopefully thats many years away.

[tenxxx]

A life time of freedom is not hard to give up cold turkey. You may have to make your self more available for their transportation needs.
I don't know what I would do if I had to give it up. Just thinking about it makes me want to go for a ride.

[unsub]

A difficult decision.....

You have a elderly family member that drives or rides .... but they shouldn't be.
Their ability to drive in a safe manner is declining.
Multiple accidents in recent months, vision not as good as it once was, reflexes not as good as they once were.

If you take the keys away.... they lose their freedom .

So how do you convince them to understand that they could seriously hurt or kill someone on the next accident? How do you convince them that their driving days are over?

I'm sorry to hear that you and your family are facing this difficult time.

If it's possible can you coordinate a visit to their doctor? Explain to the doctor before hand why you're coming in and how he/she can assist you with the message to the family member, and that you will be accompanying them. With the GP the message will carry a bit more weight.

Think of it this way. They're not losing their freedom, just reducing their mobility. Hopefully family can pick up the slack.

Best of luck.

[53driver]

Provide another venue for freedom: Uber/Lyft

[Dirtstiff's F6B]

When my dad lost his driving, I bought him a little scooter he bopped around his little area with.
Safe for a while, but I finally had to take that away too. Broke his heart.

That started his lack of interest in life. Tough deal.
Good luck to those having to make that decision.
J

[JGF6B]

Tough topic. I don't have any useful advice but will be following. My grandfather just renewed his license online, it expires in 5 years on his 100th birthday. I sometimes wonder if he should be driving.

[terryboyle]

I have heard from friends that have had to have a father's or mother's licence taken away. Never a good day. The doctor strategy is usually the easiest way.
The risk of harm to them and innocent bystanders has to drive the action. Can't imagine how I would deal with the guilt of doing nothing if someone was injured or worse killed.

[Broken Hand]

I work with the daughter of this man, who struck and killed a 23-yr old motorcyclist. He has dementia. After hitting him, the elderly man continued driving until his crushed in wheel finally gave out. Take the keys away. The young man’s leg was ripped off, he exsanguinated. This happened on road a ride frequently.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.yakimaherald.com/news/state_news/vehicular-homicide-case-dismissed-over-dementia/article_37868508-1d23-11e6-8d36-7b9633b67800.amp.html

[VaBob]

The young man’s leg was ripped off, he exsanguinated

Thats a fancy $5 word there.