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View Full Version : A dark short story I worte long ago



Westernbiker
12-10-2014, 02:33 PM
I remember not being in a very good mood, as this was written during my awful divorce.
I have a few of these but picked this one to share.



IT WILL BE TOO LATE!

To all who take it for granted

Tis the dawn of a new world,
the numerous, huge, bright balls of fire
and the extreme heat from the night before,
just hours worth, is now over.

As I emerge from my sealed underground cavern,
I notice the flat, barren, charred earth
and the awful stench, that is all around me,
it is the smell of death and destruction.

The rubble from tall standing buildings,
of the city I once knew,
offered no protection at all,
against this MAN made element.

The day is quite gloomy,
the smoke, dust and fallout that has filled the air,
is doing it's best to block out the warm light of the sun
and it's getting worse.

I wander aimlessly,
across this land of complete devastation,
in search of life, any life,
am I all alone?

I perch myself atop a large pile of debris,
to ponder the aftermath
and take a better look around,
this is complete hopelessness.

I can't help but wonder,
what if we all could have just lived in harmony together?
Another question asked,
and no one around to answer.


by Carlos

Steve 0080
12-10-2014, 05:00 PM
Perfectly describes one's feelings after a DIVORCE if you were on the side that did not want one...

Westernbiker
12-11-2014, 09:52 AM
Perfectly describes one's feelings after a DIVORCE if you were on the side that did not want one...

Yes I was on the side of not wanting it.
You are very insiteful to see the similarities.

Elroy
12-11-2014, 10:34 AM
Yes I was on the side of not wanting it.
You are very insiteful to see the similarities.

You're fantastic imagery did not make it too difficult to feel the sadness of the writer. Enjoyed the read.

Solely for the sake of literary discussion, and not as a narrative to yours or others' divorces, from another perspective your words could well describe someone's world in their current marriage/life or prior to a divorce. And emerging from the cavern could reveal a rejuvenated, plentiful world.

Once, not too long ago, while struggling with my own issues, I wrote my own piece with a theme of "Alone inside my mind". Had a similar tone as yours. Thanks for sharing.

Westernbiker
12-11-2014, 10:51 AM
You're fantastic imagery did not make it too difficult to feel the sadness of the writer. Enjoyed the read.

Solely for the sake of literary discussion, and not as a narrative to yours or others' divorces, from another perspective your words could well describe someone's world in their current marriage/life or prior to a divorce. And emerging from the cavern could reveal a rejuvenated, plentiful world.

Once, not too long ago, while struggling with my own issues, I wrote my own piece with a theme of "Alone inside my mind". Had a similar tone as yours. Thanks for sharing.

I agree with what you said. It could be taken and written just a bit different to reflect the dawn of a new and better day.
I would also enjoy a chance to read what you have written, if you care to share Elroy.