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Old Ryder
09-21-2015, 11:23 AM
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife.

The fairy moved her magic wand and suddenly two tickets for a deluxe cruise on a luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife thirty years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed but a wish is a wish. So, once again, the fairy moved her magic wand and the husband became 92-years-old

Moral -- Men might be ungrateful idiots but fairies are women!

Retired Army
09-21-2015, 12:34 PM
A person wandering in the dessert came across a urn laying in the sand. He started to dust it off and a genie appeared and granted him one wish. The man asked for 3 women. After the wand was waved the guy woke up with Tonya Harding, Lorain Bobbitt and Hillary Clinton standing next to this bed. He no sex organ, two broken legs and no health care.

BIGLRY
09-21-2015, 12:36 PM
:lolup::icon_laugh: :icon_laugh: :icon_laugh: :icon_laugh: funnychit.

SmallPasture
09-21-2015, 01:00 PM
D'oh!!!! :yes::yes::yes:

Steve 0080
09-21-2015, 01:57 PM
Good ones !!!

Willl
09-21-2015, 02:37 PM
Ouch and Ouch :icon_lol:

cosborn
09-21-2015, 06:43 PM
Very good

chris

53driver
09-21-2015, 07:35 PM
His & Her Diaries

HER DIARY
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY
My motorcycle wouldn't start today, can't figure out why, but at least I got laid.

stroguy
09-21-2015, 08:17 PM
His & Her Diaries

HER DIARY
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY
My motorcycle wouldn't start today, can't figure out why, but at least I got laid.

Classic.

Nice funny Old Ryder. Watch what you wish for.

shooter
09-21-2015, 08:38 PM
That's the difference in men and women. We are so shallow. They are worriers and deep thinkers. Good one 53. Sharon liked it too.