Triumph Rocket ebay, ends March 17.
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/390791613098
If it has ended, here's the description for your chuckle of the day:
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Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing.
Last updated on 14 Mar, 2014 19:29:19 GMT View all revisions
Item specifics
Condition: Used : Split the cost with friends
Seller notes: “Light tank scratches which may T-cut out. Scratch to rear of front mudguard visible if you get down on your hands & knees.”
Year:
2010
Mileage:
10,565
Manufacturer:
Triumph
Engine Size:
2,300
Model:
Rocket III Supercharged/Intercooled 300 BHP
Power:
300
Type:
Chopper/Cruiser
Customised Features:
Bodywork/Fairing, Paint Job
Colour:
Black
Extra Features:
Anti-Lock Brakes, Rolling bars/Frame sliders
Metallic Paint:
Yes
Performance Upgrades:
Rotrex Supercharger, TTS Intercooler, JM Forged Pistons, Tuneboy, Special Exhaust/Slip on, Tuned Engine
Date of 1st Registration:
10/04/2010
If you’re seeking a motorcycle for gentle Sunday afternoon cruising, you're in the wrong place. But if you welcome the thought of Jack Daniels on your Cornflakes then welcome to my E-bay auction.
My husband’s 300BHP monster cruiser is up for sale and I’m finally getting the lounge pimped with the proceeds! Hopefully it will sell to some area far from here so that we can eventually get the tarmac on our local roads repaired!
This ain’t no ordinary cruiser it’s a skid- Marks & Spenders version. The selfish git has spent several kitchens turning this into an overpowered drag sofa. The TTS supercharger, forged pistons, Triumph off road pipes, intercooler and Tuneboy software (circa £7,000) mean that this ridiculous beast can truly make your teeth curl. It is actually only 299 hp at the back wheel but that is more than enough to cure the most rigid of constipations.
The selfish spendaholic even tried to lure me onto the back by fitting Garmin satnav mountings and heated everything including clothing. As if you wouldn’t be sweating already under the acceleration of the 250 ft/lb torque! The behemoth is clad (circa £4500) with some huge handlebar fairing from some overcharging bandits in America called Corbin. The same kleptomaniacs sold him some oversized handbags for the rear which are internally carpeted. He calls them Beetle Bags but they are full of peculiar oil and underutilised junk that motorcyclists use once every time there is a Z in the month.
Not content with his overzealous spending spree he then sent it to some fancy spray shop called 8 Ball Custom Paint who relieved us of the price of a holiday on the Riviera. It looks nice but it’s not even Farrow and Ball.
Other useless Genuine Triumph trinkets include;
Armchair style touring seat
Adjustable rider backrest for the spineless
Passenger backrest to prevent anyone daft enough to get on the back from tumbling
Rack for carrying even more biker rubbish
Heated grips to burn your fingers
Engine dresser bars to lessen damage when it’s spits you off
Highway pegs & adjusting peg mounting kit to help you look like Peter Fonda
This supercharged & intercooled Rocket III Roadster comes with a free set of ear plugs in case that you want to retain your hearing. I would advise married men not to bother with these so as to quell the screams of their soon to be ex-wives. If you think that you are man enough message me and I will reply with the imbecile’s phone number so that you can speak endless drivel together. Good luck and happy bidding in this genuine sale.
On 10-Mar-14 at 21:17:47 GMT, seller added the following information:
Nobody has messaged me for the imbecile’s phone number yet but I'm pleased with the way the bidding is going boys! Alison x
On 13-Mar-14 at 12:44:26 GMT, seller added the following information:
Anyone wishing to bid has today and tomorrow (Friday) to get finances organised in preparation for the auction ending on Monday afternoon.
Don't forget that I can provide contact with my hubby for any questions that you may have.
On 14-Mar-14 at 19:29:19 GMT, seller added the following information:
Monday 17th Mar 16:29:20 GMT is the time to put in your diary if you want to bid on this bike
Questions and answers about this item
Q: Hi, got to say.... what a stunning bike. Wish I had the money to splash out lol Bet its turned a few heads ;) 299BHP on 2 wheels sounds fun haha Better get saving now :) Hope it sells for you Alison, thanks Matt
A: Thanks Matt so do I Alison x
15 Mar, 2014
Q: a bike is for live a wife you can swap lol GREAT BIKE KEEP IT AN DITCH THE WIFE LOL
A: Really!
15 Mar, 2014
Q: U 2 funny girlfriend! National Press, eh? Woo & indeed hoo. Alas, I am not a bidder. I have, er HAD Triumphs already but they were the old style and not the "rocket" variety. I'd risk a bid here, however-... Continue reading
A: It sounds like you have a good "lover babe" there. Look after her! Alison
14 Mar, 2014
Q: Having seen this in the flesh so to speak i wish i had the 15grand needed to own it good luck and say sorry to him for me lol oggy
A: Thanks Oggy. He sends his best wishes and says "ride safe"! Alison x
14 Mar, 2014
Q: hiya your ad seems to have attracted a lot of attention and after reading it i thought it was a hoot!! even my owl was impressed!
A: Many thanks wise one!
