Grandpa's Story
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Thread: Grandpa's Story

  1. #1
    Moderator BIGLRY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Central Coast of Calif.

    Grandpa's Story

    Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 5-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.

    As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty, peace & justice for all. Amen!"

    Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray... Asking God for ice cream! Why... I never!"

    Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears & asked me, "Did I do it wrong Grandpa? Is God mad at me?"

    After I assured him that he had done a terrific job and that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

    He winked at my grandson & said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

    "Really?" my grandson asked.

    "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul."

    Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, & then he did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over & placed it in front of the woman.

    With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her, "Here ma'am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch. Shove it up your ass and chill out!"

    Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

    The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot -
    the guy who invented the second one... he was the genius!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Tulare ca
    +1 I got a good laugh thank you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Good one Larry. I always say any prayer is a good prayer. At least you are communicating!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Longville La
    Great Story Larry but now I have to get Nose-Sprayed Pepsi off my screen. Greetings from South Louisiana.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Commerce Twp.MI USA
    That one is a classic!!...I just about wet my pants laughing.....Regards

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Derry, NH.
    That was hilarious, I was thinking to myself, sounds like my grumpy mother, there should be an island for grumpy old people!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Broken Hand's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Wenatchee, WA
    Larry, I love your jokes so much because you tell them like they’re your own story, until the punchline.

    Hondas and Kawis and Zukis and Yammys...Oh my!

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