Good luck on the test - I didn't get them all right!
I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the
South, and I challenge any so-called "smart" Yankee to take my exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard?
(A) '70 Ford Maverick
(B) '71 Chevrolet Vega
(C) '66 Pontiac GTO
(D) '67 Dodge Polaria
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to
condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweiser's will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with
a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet.
The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how
many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with
an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike
a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will
it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?
Oh noooo! You thought this test would be easy, didn't you?
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