A prostitute takes a taxi ride and doesn't have any money. At the end of the ride she lifts up her skirt and says, "Is this good enough?" The cab driver says, "Don't you have anything smaller?"
A penguin is driving down the road eating an ice cream cone. His car stalls and he pulls over. A few minutes later, a tow truck stops by. The driver looks under the hood, goes back to the penguin and says, "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin wipes his mouth and says, "No, I've just been eating an ice cream cone."
Two flies are sitting on a pile of poop when one farts. The other says, "do you mind, I'm eating."
Two ladies at the supermarket. One picks up a couple of potatoes.
Lady one: These potatoes remind me of my husbands balls.
Lady two: Really. That big?
Lady one: No, that dirty.
Little girl goes into a barber shop eating a snack. The barber says, " Young lady, you're getting hair on your twinkie." She says, "I know and I'm getting boobies too!"
Father: Son, if you keep masturbating you'll go blind.
Son" Dad, I'm over here.
Man in an elevator (to a woman) "Can I smell your crotch?" The woman says, "No, you most certainly cannot." The man says, "Oh, then it must be your feet."
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