Note to self,,,, don't take a sip of coffee before reading any jokes from Dickiedeals...
Note to self,,,, don't take a sip of coffee before reading any jokes from Dickiedeals...
I truly laughed out loud my friend
a nurse goes out with her friends for dinner. all goes well until the end of the meal when they all get their separate checks .......since they're all paying by credit card, pens are in a bit of a shortage.
the nurse chimes in and says I have one in my purse, hang on." she reaches into her purse and pulls out a rectal thermometer...looking somewhat surprised she pipes up and says "aw shit...some ASSHOLE has my pen!"
All I can say is " You got to be shitting me!"
Ride Safe, Ride Often
C
Mekong Delta/Can Tho/ Rung Sat- 8/66 ~ 8/68
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.
He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting.
I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that... it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.
Thus, the democrat party... and its symbol was born!
If you are not part of the solution, YOU are the problem.
Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty.
An old, blind biker wanders into an lesbian bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, buddy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, dude. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind biker thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
" A Gun Is Like A Parachute.If You Need One, And Don't Have One, You'll Probably Never Need One Again!"
Keep them comin my friend...
Sweet
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
2015 F6B Deluxe
Matte Silver
Still laughing....
" Truth is often deemed rude, blunt and to the point which is why so few make their friend " Freddy Hayler ..352-267-1553 Sanford, FLA Gutterman6000@Gmail.com
Grinin form ear to ear
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