Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
... Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN;
IT'S CHEAP MEDICINE
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Originally Posted by willtill
or take it off an ride naked......
willtill 