Friday night I heard strange noises coming from my roof. I went outside to investigate. I was shocked when I saw a huge bear up there. I went inside, and called the Dept. of Fish & Game and explained my dilemma. The warden said he would be there ASAP.

About an hour later, his truck arrived and he got out. He proceeded to gather a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-Guage shotgun and an angry looking black pit-bull.

I asked what his intentions were as he handed me the shotgun. He told me that he was going to climb the ladder and hit the bear off the roof with the bat. Then his pit-bull would chase it, and clamp on the bear's testicles. When released from the pit, the bear would leave the area.

I understood his plans, so I asked him about the shotgun. He said that sometimes the bear could knock him from the roof. If that happened, I should shoot the dog!