OK a few in bad taste [and I love my wife and have a terriffic marriage!]:

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.


Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.


A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"


I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."


WARNING!!! IF YOU GET AN EMAIL TITLED, "NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON", DON'T OPEN IT. IT CONTAINS A nude photo of Hillary Clinton.