Sounds like my grandson describing me!
Crown Royal, another great Canadian and a funny post
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very naughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
Me too!Originally Posted by bigbird
Sounds like my grandson describing me!
Deer Slayer
If I can't fix it, I will fix it so no one can fix it.
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Muslim fanatic and a Biker are all walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada" POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
The muslim was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land." POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "˜Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."
The Biker sits down, opens a beer, and lights a cigar and says calmly "Fill it with water."
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